Recommendations based on "The Balancing Act: Creating Healthy Dependency and Connection Without Losing Yourself"

One of the world’s most respected voices on erotic intelligence, Esther Perel offers a bold, provocative new take on intimacy and sex. Mating in Captivity invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home.Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, Perel examines the complexities of sustaining desire. Through case studies and lively discussion, Perel demonstrates how more exciting, playful, and even poetic sex is possible in long-term relationships. Wise, witty, and as revelatory as it is straightforward, Mating in Captivity is a sensational book that will transform the way you live and love.

A groundbreaking guide to sexuality that dispels the stale cultural attitudes about sex that leave too many feeling inadequate, and offers an expansive, attachment-based framework to free us and develop bolder, more satisfying relationships with our sexual selves. When it comes to sex, most people feel insecure. But it’s not because we’re deficient; it’s because we’ve been under-resourced and miseducated.       Certified sex therapist Casey Tanner argues that our sex lives are a microcosm of every untruth we’ve internalized about gender, sex, relationships, our bodies, and ourselves. Most of us were taught that healthy sexuality is only for a certain kind of person, in a certain kind of relationship, with a certain kind of body. As a result, the way we’ve learned how to define “good sex” is reflective of how good, worthy, and loveable we see ourselves. Feel It All is a comprehensive guide to help everyone uncover their personal misconceptions about sexuality and relationships. Tanner helps you recognize and assess your core beliefs surrounding relationships, sexuality, gender, and more; identify past trauma; find pathways to healing that work for you; and redefine sex based on knowledge and possibilities, rather than potential consequences. Comprehensive yet accessible, informative, warm, and nonjudgmental, Feel It All provides a pathway for personal healing, creating stronger relationships, and achieving deeper intimacy.

A Man's Guide On How To Enhance A Woman's Sexual Experience Through Oral Sex Outlines A System Of Intimate Techniques Designed To Maximize Female Gratification. Introduction : Confessions Of A Premature Ejaculator -- Part One : The Elements Of Sexual Style. She Comes First : The Courtesy That Counts -- Her Clitoris : The Little Engine That Could -- Think Outside Her Box -- The Female Orgasm : Keep It Simple -- The Tongue Is Mightier Than The Sword -- Her Inner Goddess -- Avoid Freud -- What's In A Name? -- Now You See It : Female Sexual Anatomy, Part 1 -- Now You Don't : Female Sexual Anatomy, Part 2 -- Avoid G-spotty Logic -- When Raindrops Keep Falling On Your Head : Female Ejaculation -- How Wet Is Wet? -- Aristotle And The Poetics Of Arousal -- A Synopsis Of Female Sexual Response -- Scent And Sensibility -- We've Come A Long Way -- Eat Right -- The Cunnilinguist Manifesto -- Part Two : Rules Of Usage. A Note On The Play Process -- Foreplay : A Lexicon Of Relevant Terms -- Introducing Coreplay -- Form Follows Function : Getting Into Position -- A Quick Refresher Of The Top Ten Hot Spots In The Clitoral Network --^ Grand Openings : The First Kiss -- Establishing Rhythm -- Developing Tension, Part 1 -- Time Flies -- Developing Tension, Part 2 -- Escalating The Action, Part 1 -- Two's Company -- An Interlude -- Escalating The Action, Part 2 -- A Stitch In Time -- Preorgasm, Part 1 -- Preorgasm, Part 2 -- Posterior Pizzazz -- Preorgasm, Part 3 -- A Note For Those Stuck Without An Ending -- The Female Orgasm : Expanding Your Vocabulary -- Moreplay : She Comes Again (and Again) -- Seamless Transitions -- Achieving Simultaneity -- Don't Forget Your Epilogue -- Part Three : Putting It All Together. The Substance Of Style -- Routines : A Cheat Sheet -- Routines : Beginner To Advanced -- Conclusion -- Appendices. Manual Stimulation During Foreplay -- Some Pointers On The Use Of Restraint -- Modifications Of The Standard Position -- The Protected Kiss, Part 1 -- The Protected Kiss, Part 2 -- The Scarlet Kiss -- The Virgin Kiss, His First Time -- The Virgin Kiss, Her First Time -- The Pregnant Kiss --^ Useful Toys -- Routine Template. Ian Kerner. Includes Bibliographical References (p. [225]-226).

The authors outline a step-by-step process designed to help readers negotiate the most difficult conversations imaginable, from negotiating with a tricky client to telling someone "I love you." Reprint.

Provides an illuminating explanation of the origins and meaning of romantic love and shows how a proper understanding of its psychological dynamics can revitalize our most important relationships.

A practical, heartfelt guide to the art of truly knowing another person in order to foster deeper connections at home, at work, and throughout our lives-from the #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Road to Character and The Second Mountain If you are going to care for someone, you must first understand them. If you're going to hire, marry, or befriend someone, you have to be able to see them. If you are going to work closely with someone, you have to be able to make them feel recognized and valued. As David Brooks observes, "The older I get, the more I come to the certainty that there is one skill at the center of any healthy family, company, classroom, community or nation: the ability to see each other, to know other people, to make them feel valued, heard and understood." And yet we humans don't do this well. All around us are people who feel invisible, unseen, misunderstood. In How to Know a Person, Brooks sets out to help us to do better, posing questions that are essential for all of us. If you want to know a person, what kind of attention should you cast on them? What kind of conversations should you have? What parts of a person's story should you pay attention to? Driven by his trademark sense of curiosity, Brooks draws from the fields of psychology and neuroscience, and from the worlds of theatre, history, and education, to present a welcoming, hopeful, integrated approach to human connection. How to Know a Person helps readers become more understanding and considerate towards others; it helps readers find the joy that comes from being seen. Along the way it offers a possible remedy for a society that is riven by fragmentation, hostility, and misperception. The act of seeing another person, Brooks argues, is a profoundly creative act: How can we look somebody in the eye and see something large in them, and in turn, see something larger in ourselves? How to Know a Person is for anyone searching for connection, seeking to understand and yearning to be understood.

The classic text on the history of attachment theory and its impact on the field of child development, now in a fully expanded and updated edition.A century ago, leading childcare experts were miles apart in their recommendations to parents. Behaviorists warned against spoiling children with too much affection ("Never hug and kiss them, never let them sit in your lap") whereas geneticists argued that affection matters little because our genes alone determine who we are. Into this fray in the late 1930s stepped John Bowlby, the British psychoanalyst whose work with psychologist Mary Ainsworth would overturn the world of child development and shape its trajectory for the next 70 years.Becoming Attached tells the story of one of the great undertakings of modern psychology: the hundred-year quest to understand what children need and what constitutes good parenting. In this expanded and fully updated new edition, psychotherapist and journalist Robert Karen chronicles the origin of a groundbreaking idea - attachment theory - and its resounding impact on the fields of developmental psychology, psychiatry, and psychoanalysis. Karen charts the historic course of attachment theory as it gained notoriety and support-and not a little controversy. Do "securely attached" children fare better as adults than "insecurely attached" ones? What do children truly need to thrive? Can babies handle prolonged separations? Presenting the origin story of an important idea in child development, this new edition also reveals how attachment research has exploded worldwide in the past several years as evidence for the benefits of secure attachment continue to grow. Karen explores the cutting-edge science examining the relationship between infants and their caregivers - such as the hidden world of synchronized play, fMRI studies that reveal neural patterns of parental and receptive love, and the link between attachment and genetics, wherein early experience changes the expression of genes. Karen also tells a dramatic story of scientists at work and at war, what happens when a theory such as attachment becomes complicated by political and economic pressures, and how its entanglement with gender roles and equity in the workforce continue to overshadow research to this day. Karen shares anecdotes drawn from his own practice to illuminate the challenges many adults face in overcoming insecurities that may originate in infancy and childhood, and how resulting harmful relationship patterns may be quashed.Cementing its place as a classic text of child development and its rich history, Becoming Attached has much to say about both child and adult life, as readers will find it impossible to read without reflecting on their own lives as children, parents, and intimate partners in love or marriage.

Sexual fantasies. Everyone has them, but no one knows what they mean. People are curious about and often confused by the things that arouse them, yet they are often too ashamed to reveal their most private fantasies to their partners or even their therapists. In this fascinating and provocative book, Dr. Michael J. Bader offers a groundbreaking new theory of sexual desire, one that will liberate men and women and enable them to better understand their sexual preferences.Drawing on his twenty-five years as a psychotherapist and psychoanalyst, Dr. Bader demonstrates that rather than being programmed by biology or society, sexual fantasies and preferences are really psychological antidotes to unconscious dangers. Armed with this novel theory, men and women will no longer need to feel ashamed about what arouses them or confused about what arouses others. Dr. Bader sensitively tells the stories of his patients and explains the meaning of their sexual fantasies. In terms refreshingly free of jargon, he reveals how his profound new theory can be used to decipher a wide variety of sexual fantasies and behavior, ranging from ordinary preferences about positions in bed to flamboyant scenarios worthy of the Marquis de Sade. And yet, Dr. Bader's exciting new theory transcends the realm of individual psychology. Readers will come away with a radically new understanding of such issues as sexual chemistry and boredom, cybersex, pornography, and the differences in how men and women get excited.Both erudite and accessible, Arousal: The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies is an important landmark in the literature of sexuality.

Two therapists analyze their own relationship to help untangle the common and frustrating barriers many individuals face on the road to a happy, loving, rewarding partnership. Many of the clients who end up in our respective therapist offices thought they were doing relationships right—avoiding the white picket fence, focusing on careers and experiences over babies and legally-binding documents, choosing someone after they “found themselves” first. However, like clockwork, around their early to mid-thirties, these clients show up at our door. Why? For the first time, they realize that they dislike their relationship and are frustrated by their partner but know that another break-up won’t fix things. They recognize a pattern of relationship misery that has them finally looking in the mirror asking, how do you make a relationship last? It took us many relationships, our own inner self journey (which we’re still on), therapy, therapy school, and helping thousands of people with their relationships, to learn to have better ones ourselves. Vanessa woke up at 31, after ending an engagement and moving to Los Angeles. John thought he woke up at 35 after his divorce. But he didn’t truly wake up until he was pushing 40.  In It’s Not Me, It’s You, John and Vanessa dissect their own relationship to help readers figure out theirs: what their relationships were like in the past, what traumas they carried into the new relationship, and how they work on growing together to foster a healthy and long-term bond. The surprising truth is falling in love is more about you than your partner. It’s more about challenge and growth than comfort and ease, and roots don’t grow from wishful thinking—they grow in the soil of communication, curiosity, patience, and understanding. It’s Not Me, It’s You is for anyone looking for real advice on relationships that takes both sides into account and discusses relationships with the honesty and clarity we all need.

In this third and final volume John Bowlby completes the trilogy Attachment anf Loss, his much acclaimed work on the importance of the parental relationship to mental health. Here he examines the ways in which young children respond to a temporary of permenant loss of a mother-figure and the expression of anxiety, grief and mourning which accompany such loss. The theories presented differ in many ways from those advanced by Freud and elaborated by his followers, so much so that the frame of reference now offered for understanding personality developement and psychopathology amounts to a new paradigm.