London, 1840: Wagner's latest opera plays to packed houses while disgruntled workers gather in crowded pubs to eat ice cream and plan the downfall of the bourgeoisie. And the Pirate Captain--his disguise proving something of a letdown--finds himself incarcerated at Scotland Yard, in a case of mistaken identity. Discovering that his doppelganger is none other than Karl Marx, the Captain and his crew are unwittingly caught up in a sinister plot that involves a red-eyed monster, stolen waxworks, and a sack of pretend kittens. From the gloomy streets of Soho to the leafy boulevards of Paris, The Pirates! In an Adventure with Communists is a story of intellectual giants, enormous beards, volcanoes and valkyries, doubloons and dancing girls, and a quest to discover whether ham might really be the opium of the people. This volume also includes, at no additional charge, "The Wit and Wisdom of the Pirate Captain--a Major Philosophical Work"On the Matter of Love: If you're off to fight in a battle, snap a ship's biscuit in half and give your girlfriend the other half. When you meet again, they will match--like two halves of a single soul! Hopefully, this will stop her sleeping with other men. On the Question of Gravy Stains: It is my opinion that the best way to get gravy stains out of cotton or wool is to soak the fabric in vinegar for half an hour. . . . If this doesn't work, try burning the gravy off with a match or getting a hungry dog to lick it off. On Life in General: Life is like a big shanty. Everything will be fine so long as everyone sings in harmony. But if someone plays a duff note on the accordion or tries to break-dance at a sensitive bit, then there will be all sorts of trouble, mark my words.