This book broke my heart an healed it all together

(actual rating is 3.75 stars) I appreciate what this book is, can, and will do for all the young queer Catholics out there, but I'm glad that I did not have it when I was younger, bombarded as I was with all the coming-out narratives and my personal desire to do so. The ideal of coming out and its inextricable link with the queer dream of acceptance cannot be severed. So do I fault this story for having coming out as central to its themes? No. I just look at it from a place of envy. And yeah, this book review might get <s>too</s> personal. I'd say it centers more on the matter of race and sexuality, a hint of economic status, and Yami's crucial role as the eldest sister. The centrality of Catholicism is not there. If anything, it's mostly there for flavour and background context, almost a shorthand really, to create expectations. God's word as invoked only to make the points against queerness. Plus, Yami's mom isn't even religious. A level one at most. Catholicism rears its head to create conflict and it parallels with Yami's father who is a distant, loved figure who is untouchable and can therefore be idealized. The religious baggage offers its requisite weighing-down but it doesn't give the impression to be too great of a burden in Yami's view. An interesting choice—it saves Yami from having to explain her stance on it. It's not <i>really</i> a flaw of the story that it did not touch on the religion issue enough for my liking, though it did prevent me from fully immersing in the narrative. I have baggage—it can't be helped. But what was I expecting? An introspection on God's mercy (or lack thereof) akin to [b:Crime and Punishment|7144|Crime and Punishment|Fyodor Dostoevsky|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1382846449l/7144._SY75_.jpg|3393917]? Maybe—as it's the other book I'm reading at the moment, but that's not fair of me. I need to cut this story some slack. Two scenes that tear me to shreds in thinking about because they both hit raw nerves inside me (young Ken, you tasseled creature! Get it? Because they were (are?) frayed?): <spoiler> 1) When Jenna was about to ask Bo out to homecoming - particularly Bo's naivete. It hurt me to say this but Bo, darling. How can you make a presentation about abortion at a Catholic school <i>and yet</i> fall for this trap? Where's the self-preservation? Though thinking about it now, I suppose being well-loved by your parents does that to you. 2) When Yami came out to her mom. I admit, my reactions to coming-out scenarios that end well, particularly when it involves one's own mother, is excruciating. It's hard to believe. Bordering on fantasy. I can't even find it in myself to enjoy it, you know? </spoiler> All in all, a solid read. Yami's narrative voice is adorable, and the author clearly had siblings as they wrote Yami's and César's dynamic so well.

4,5 ⭐️ Was für eine unglaublich tolle Geschichte!