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Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life
von Henry Cloud, John Townsend
Boundaries is the book that's helped over 4 million people learn when to say yes and know how to say no in order to take control of their lives.Does your life feel like it's out of control? Perhaps you feel like you have to say yes to everyone's requests. Maybe you find yourself readily taking responsibility for others' feelings and problems. Or perhaps you focus so much on being loving and unselfish that you've forgotten your own limits and limitations. Or maybe it's all of the above.In the New York Times bestseller, Boundaries, Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend help you learn when to say yes and know how to say no in order to take control of your life and set healthy, biblical boundaries with your spouse, children, friends, parents, co-workers, and even yourself.Now updated and expanded for the digital age, this book continues to help millions of people around the world answer these tough questions: Can I set limits and still be a loving person? What are legitimate boundaries? How do I effectively manage my digital life so that it doesn't control me? What if someone is upset or hurt by my boundaries? How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money? Why do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider setting boundaries? How do boundaries relate to mutual submission within marriage? Aren’t boundaries selfish?You don’t have to let your life spiral out of control. Discover how boundaries make life better today!Plus, check out Boundaries family collection of books dedicated to key areas of life - dating, marriage, raising kids, parenting teens, and leadership. Workbooks and Spanish editions are also available.
von Esther Perel
When you love someone, how does it feel? And when you desire someone, how is it different?In Mating in Captivity, Esther Perel looks at the story of sex in committed couples. Modern romance promises it all - a lifetime of togetherness, intimacy and erotic desire. In reality, it's hard to want what you already have. Our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit of passion. And often, the very thing that got us to into our relationships - lust - is the one thing that goes missing from them.Determined to reconcile the erotic and the domestic, Perel explains why democracy is a passion killer in the bedroom. Argues for playfulness, distance, and uncertainty. And shows what it takes to bring lust home. Smart, sexy and explosively original, Mating in Captivity is the monogamist's essential bedside read.
von Esther Perel
"A fresh look at infidelity, broadening the focus from the havoc it wreaks within a committed relationship to consider also why people do it, what it means to them, and why breaking up is the expected response to duplicity — but not necessarily the wisest one.” — LA Review of BooksFrom iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity comes a provocative and controversial look at infidelity with practical, honest, and empathetic advice for how to move beyond it.An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. What are we to make of this time-honored taboo—universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat—even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book.For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage—with the same person. With the right approach, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart.Affairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about modern relationships—what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations.Fiercely intelligent, The State of Affairs provides a daring framework for understanding the intricacies of love and desire. As Perel observes, “Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like no other, into the crevices of the human heart.”
von John M. Gottman Ph.D.
An eminent therapist explains what makes couples compatible and how to sustain a happy marriage. For the past thirty-five years, John Gottman’s research has been internationally recognized for its unprecedented ability to precisely measure interactive processes in couples and to predict the long-term success or failure of relationships. In this groundbreaking book, he presents a new approach to understanding and changing couples: a fundamental social skill called “emotional attunement,” which describes a couple’s ability to fully process and move on from negative emotional events, ultimately creating a stronger relationship.Gottman draws from this longitudinal research and theory to show how emotional attunement can downregulate negative affect, help couples focus on positive traits and memories, and even help prevent domestic violence. He offers a detailed intervention devised to cultivate attunement, thereby helping couples connect, respect, and show affection. Emotional attunement is extended to tackle the subjects of flooding, the story we tell ourselves about our relationship, conflict, personality, changing relationships, and gender. Gottman also explains how to create emotional attunement when it is missing, to lay a foundation that will carry the relationship through difficult times.Gottman encourages couples to cultivate attunement through awareness, tolerance, understanding, non-defensive listening, and empathy. These qualities, he argues, inspire confidence in couples, and the sense that despite the inevitable struggles, the relationship is enduring and resilient.This book, an essential follow-up to his 1999 The Marriage Clinic, offers therapists, students, and researchers detailed intervention for working with couples, and offers couples a roadmap to a stronger future together.
von Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish
how To Talk So Kids Will Listen And Listen So Kids Will Talk Provides All The Know-how Required For Happier, More Constructive Parent-child Relations. Enthusiastically Praised By Parents And Professionals Around The World, The Down-to-earth, Respectful Approach Of Faber And Mazlish Makes Interaction With Children Of All Ages Less Stressful And More Rewarding. The Christopher Award-winning Authors Share Their Latest Insights And Suggestions Based On Feedback They've Received Over The Years. Their Real-world Methods Offer Children's Negative Feelings; Express Anger Without Being Hurtful; Set Firm Limits And Maintain Goodwill; Use Alternatives To Punishment; Resolve Family Conflicts Peacefully.
von Michael J. Bader
Sexual fantasies. Everyone has them, but no one knows what they mean. People are curious about and often confused by the things that arouse them, yet they are often too ashamed to reveal their most private fantasies to their partners or even their therapists. In this fascinating and provocative book, Dr. Michael J. Bader offers a groundbreaking new theory of sexual desire, one that will liberate men and women and enable them to better understand their sexual preferences.Drawing on his twenty-five years as a psychotherapist and psychoanalyst, Dr. Bader demonstrates that rather than being programmed by biology or society, sexual fantasies and preferences are really psychological antidotes to unconscious dangers. Armed with this novel theory, men and women will no longer need to feel ashamed about what arouses them or confused about what arouses others. Dr. Bader sensitively tells the stories of his patients and explains the meaning of their sexual fantasies. In terms refreshingly free of jargon, he reveals how his profound new theory can be used to decipher a wide variety of sexual fantasies and behavior, ranging from ordinary preferences about positions in bed to flamboyant scenarios worthy of the Marquis de Sade. And yet, Dr. Bader's exciting new theory transcends the realm of individual psychology. Readers will come away with a radically new understanding of such issues as sexual chemistry and boredom, cybersex, pornography, and the differences in how men and women get excited.Both erudite and accessible, Arousal: The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies is an important landmark in the literature of sexuality.
von Stacey Diane Arañez Litam
This empowering book blends history, storytelling, and culturally grounded techniques to equip readers with the tools needed to promote self-reflection, personal growth, and diasporic healing. Asian Americans represent the fastest growing ethnic group in the United States, yet few books capture how historical events, immigration experiences, cultural values, and unhelpful generational patterns contribute to this group's thoughts, attitudes, and actions in ways that impact relationships, well-being, and psychological health. In Patterns That Remain, Stacey Diane Arañez Litam empowers readers to heal from diasporic wounds and become people, partners, and parents who embody abundance mentalities grounded in joy, balance, and gratitude. This unique book combines complex and nuanced facets of Asian American history, research, and therapeutic modalities in ways that validate Asian American worldviews and promote a deep sense of universality and community. Each chapter addresses culturally relevant topics among Asian Americans and children of Asian immigrants and is informed by academic research in addition to author-conducted interviews with diverse Asian American community members and thought leaders. The book effortlessly blends history, storytelling, and culturally grounded perspectives to provide an inspirational, validating, and practical framework toward healing. Informed by Litam's lived experiences as a Filipina and Chinese immigrant as well as by her professional identities as a professor, researcher, and mental health clinician, Patterns That Remain provides the foundation for timely conversations and centers the importance of healing, personal growth, and unlocking the power behind our stories.
von Danielle Bayard Jackson
Why are women's friendships so deep yet so fragile? Friendship coach and educator Danielle Bayard Jackson unpacks the latest research about women's cooperation and communication, while sharing practical strategies to preserve and strengthen these relationships. Fighting for Our Friendships is one part textbook, one part handbook. Readers will not only learn what the latest research has to say about the mechanics of women's friendships, but they'll walk away with real-life solutions for the most common conflicts that arise in their platonic relationships. Using a combination of psychology, science, narrative, and a few of the author's signature scripts and out-of-the-box exercises, readers will learn: The three "affinities" that bring women together (and tear them apart) Scripts to navigate nine of the most challenging "friend types" (and how to know which one you are) The covert strategies women use to hurt each other (and how to avoid them) How to have a hard conversation with a friend (without losing the friendship) Surprising ways that women's people-pleasing delays platonic intimacy (and how to stop it) How to know if a friendship is worth saving (and what to do to recover) How to make (and deepen!) connections with other women In a time when we are often encouraged to opt out of friendships at any sign of friction, Danielle Bayard Jackson is showing us how to opt in.
von Harriet Lerner
"Anger is a signal and one worth listening to," writes Dr. Harriet Lerner, in her renowned classic that has transformed the lives of millions of readers.While anger deserves our attention and respect, women still learn to silence our anger, to deny it entirely, or to vent it in a way that leaves us feeling helpless and powerless. In this engaging and eminently wise book, Dr. Lerner teaches women to identify the true sources of our anger and to use anger as a powerful vehicle for creating lasting change.
von Vanessa Van Edwards
93% of all communication is non-verbal- 55% is made up of body language and the remaining 38% is tone of voice. The way we present ourselves is key to being successful at work and home, so isn't it time we learnt how to master body language as well as conversation? In Captivate, interpersonal intelligence expert Vanessa Van Edwards provides shortcuts for improving people skills, tested and refined in her human behaviour research lab. Captivatewill teach you how to take control of social situations, replace anxiety with natural confidence and unearth the hidden dynamics of people. Read this practical guide to become the most memorable person in any room.